Peel the onion...a metaphor!
If your name is CLEOPATRA (Queen of DENIAL)
this might not be for you. I've gone back & forth thinking of clever ways to segue to Hidden Treasure-Part 2. NOPE. Can't think of a thing...So...
Please read Part 1...cause I'm gonna dive right in.
(RECAP: When I helped Mom move my Grandmother, we found all sorts of brand new things HIDDEN in her house. Most of little monetary value.
She didn't buy them for me, she didn't intend them for me
& she didn't think I would find them. I was told to take them, so I did.
I do believe I know WHY my Grandmother hide those things. FEAR!
on what we BELIEVE to be TRUE!!
We learn from our experiences, our education & our environment.
What you believe is how you interpret & is the
reality of the world around you. We must know what is at the root of what we believe.
LIFE OR DEATH TRUTH or A LIE
EX: A dog bit your mom when she was 3. She had stitches & shots. It was a painful experience & memory for her...but she did whack the dog on the head with a hammer. All your life, when you saw a puppy, she would scream NO!!!! Get AWAY!!! Dogs are bad...they will bite you. You love your mom...so dogs are bad.
BELIEF: (based on her experience) - Dogs are bad...they will bite.
TRUTH: Not all dogs are bad, not all dogs bite.
But, unless you get to know a dog...play with a dog...don't hit that dog with a hammer...you will never know for yourself.
EX: You're brother is 17, you are 10. You're brother's girlfriend dumped him after a long 3 day relationship, because...that's life. He comes home, slams the door, throws his books & says, GIRLS SUCK!! You love your brother...so girls must suck.
BELIEF: (based on his 1st experience) GIRLS SUCK...DON'T TRUST GIRLS!
TRUTH: GIRLS DO SUCK...unless you find one from Kentucky!!
We have to be careful not to create our belief system based on a 2nd hand experience. Belief systems, like dishes, get passed down in a family. We must find our own TRUTH.
For most of my adult I have been in the ministry. I have taught retreats, conferences, classes & in pulpits across the US & other countries. I took many classes, read and studied because I've always had a hunger to know more about what makes me (& you) tick.
From time to time I check in with my belief system. Do my emotional inventory. Make sure past pain, past memories aren't in charge of my emotions and causing me to react. I look for unresolved issues. To apply new insight and revelation so I will grow.
Once in a while...something happens & I don't act like my usual sweet self. An old thing will work it's way up. I need to pay attention! Sometime, we don't realize how deep hurt goes. It might feel GONE, when it's only HIDDEN. It's because our memory has LAYERS.
We need to STOP, DROP, & peel.
(peel, verb: (T's blog dictionary) to remove the surface (what is seen, what I feel) and ask the tough questions that take me to the root, the source the TRUTH)
I've discovered FEAR is at the root of most of my reactions.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not having enough, fear of being mis-treated...fear of being abandoned....FEAR.
Could it be possible that fear was passed along to me
with along with a jar of buttons, a set of dishes
and a coin collection?
Yes, I believe we can pass fear, hurt, shame, anger, etc.
I want to pass TREASURE...not STUFF!!
STUFF - noun: (T's blog dictionary) P.E.M. (Personal Emotional Property). painful memories, prejudice, mean words, hurtful actions, emotion, failures, disappointments, addictions, abandonment, secrets, anything that could cause create a damaging, 2nd hand belief system
If your name is CLEOPATRA (Queen of DENIAL)
this might not be for you. I've gone back & forth thinking of clever ways to segue to Hidden Treasure-Part 2. NOPE. Can't think of a thing...So...
Please read Part 1...cause I'm gonna dive right in.
(RECAP: When I helped Mom move my Grandmother, we found all sorts of brand new things HIDDEN in her house. Most of little monetary value.
She didn't buy them for me, she didn't intend them for me
& she didn't think I would find them. I was told to take them, so I did.
I do believe I know WHY my Grandmother hide those things. FEAR!
- FEAR...of the return of hard times.
- FEAR...of "doing without"
- FEAR...of not being prepared if it happened again.
- FEAR...someone would see her FEAR.
on what we BELIEVE to be TRUE!!
We learn from our experiences, our education & our environment.
What you believe is how you interpret & is the
reality of the world around you. We must know what is at the root of what we believe.
LIFE OR DEATH TRUTH or A LIE
EX: A dog bit your mom when she was 3. She had stitches & shots. It was a painful experience & memory for her...but she did whack the dog on the head with a hammer. All your life, when you saw a puppy, she would scream NO!!!! Get AWAY!!! Dogs are bad...they will bite you. You love your mom...so dogs are bad.
BELIEF: (based on her experience) - Dogs are bad...they will bite.
TRUTH: Not all dogs are bad, not all dogs bite.
But, unless you get to know a dog...play with a dog...don't hit that dog with a hammer...you will never know for yourself.
EX: You're brother is 17, you are 10. You're brother's girlfriend dumped him after a long 3 day relationship, because...that's life. He comes home, slams the door, throws his books & says, GIRLS SUCK!! You love your brother...so girls must suck.
BELIEF: (based on his 1st experience) GIRLS SUCK...DON'T TRUST GIRLS!
TRUTH: GIRLS DO SUCK...unless you find one from Kentucky!!
We have to be careful not to create our belief system based on a 2nd hand experience. Belief systems, like dishes, get passed down in a family. We must find our own TRUTH.
For most of my adult I have been in the ministry. I have taught retreats, conferences, classes & in pulpits across the US & other countries. I took many classes, read and studied because I've always had a hunger to know more about what makes me (& you) tick.
From time to time I check in with my belief system. Do my emotional inventory. Make sure past pain, past memories aren't in charge of my emotions and causing me to react. I look for unresolved issues. To apply new insight and revelation so I will grow.
Once in a while...something happens & I don't act like my usual sweet self. An old thing will work it's way up. I need to pay attention! Sometime, we don't realize how deep hurt goes. It might feel GONE, when it's only HIDDEN. It's because our memory has LAYERS.
We need to STOP, DROP, & peel.
(peel, verb: (T's blog dictionary) to remove the surface (what is seen, what I feel) and ask the tough questions that take me to the root, the source the TRUTH)
- why did that hurt me --- again?
- why did i do that --- again?
- why do i feel this ---- again?
- why did i say that ---- again?
- why did i go there --- again?
I've discovered FEAR is at the root of most of my reactions.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not having enough, fear of being mis-treated...fear of being abandoned....FEAR.
Could it be possible that fear was passed along to me
with along with a jar of buttons, a set of dishes
and a coin collection?
Yes, I believe we can pass fear, hurt, shame, anger, etc.
I want to pass TREASURE...not STUFF!!
STUFF - noun: (T's blog dictionary) P.E.M. (Personal Emotional Property). painful memories, prejudice, mean words, hurtful actions, emotion, failures, disappointments, addictions, abandonment, secrets, anything that could cause create a damaging, 2nd hand belief system
What? You don't have any "stuff" that tries to comes back around. THAT'S AWESOME SAUCE! Sweet in 10 Languages!!
BEFORE YOU STOP READING...LET ME ASK YOU THIS?
Have you ever had a pickle jar moment?
One day, you reach in the fridge and you hit a pickle jar. It smashes on the floor...ALL OVER THE FLOOR. And suddenly, you over-react, out of character behavior like you see in a Quentin Tarantino movie. You curse at the dog (he probably bites anyway), slam the fridge door, tell your daughter to go to her room right now (cause we all know GIRLS SUCK & it was probably her fault) ETC....ETC...ETC!!!
Your FAM thinks: "Wow, they've lost their ever lovin' mind."
- OR - "Wow, they really loved those pickles!"
Truth: You might be hiding "stuff"
Moments like these are what I call ---LEAKING!!
LEAK - verb: (T's blog dictionary) A breach or pressure valve that allows an escape and EXPOSURE of contents from within a sealed container.We think we have cleverly & completely deal with our P.E.P. THEN BOOOOOOM!!! We're leaking all over everywhere.
Leaking looks for an acceptable "outlet" to release emotion...but the expression doesn't fit the situation.
OK??? Still with me??
BEFORE YOU STOP READING...LET ME ASK YOU THIS?
Have you ever had a pickle jar moment?
One day, you reach in the fridge and you hit a pickle jar. It smashes on the floor...ALL OVER THE FLOOR. And suddenly, you over-react, out of character behavior like you see in a Quentin Tarantino movie. You curse at the dog (he probably bites anyway), slam the fridge door, tell your daughter to go to her room right now (cause we all know GIRLS SUCK & it was probably her fault) ETC....ETC...ETC!!!
Your FAM thinks: "Wow, they've lost their ever lovin' mind."
- OR - "Wow, they really loved those pickles!"
Truth: You might be hiding "stuff"
Moments like these are what I call ---LEAKING!!
LEAK - verb: (T's blog dictionary) A breach or pressure valve that allows an escape and EXPOSURE of contents from within a sealed container.We think we have cleverly & completely deal with our P.E.P. THEN BOOOOOOM!!! We're leaking all over everywhere.
Leaking looks for an acceptable "outlet" to release emotion...but the expression doesn't fit the situation.
OK??? Still with me??
We are soooo creative. We hide our "stuff" in many ways!
1. WE WEAR MASKS
mask, noun: false veneer that temporarily hides our reality.
It's all about CURB APPEAL!!!
The inside might be a mess...but look at that landscaping!! If the outside is functioning...they'll never know!!
A mask is DENIAL with a SMILE!!
The Bible says I Sam. 16:7 "...The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
ATTN: K-MART SHOPPERS!!!
This is not God telling us that we should neglect or HIDE what's on the inside. This is God saying..."I SEE YOUR STUFF!
1. WE WEAR MASKS
mask, noun: false veneer that temporarily hides our reality.
It's all about CURB APPEAL!!!
The inside might be a mess...but look at that landscaping!! If the outside is functioning...they'll never know!!
A mask is DENIAL with a SMILE!!
The Bible says I Sam. 16:7 "...The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
ATTN: K-MART SHOPPERS!!!
This is not God telling us that we should neglect or HIDE what's on the inside. This is God saying..."I SEE YOUR STUFF!
If only we had a form of communication where we could share with others only positive information, promotions, achievements, happy moments with our kids, what we had for lunch with whom & where accompanied by photo-shopped pics 24/7 so that everyone could see only what we want them to see. We would be rich!! Wait...somebody already is rich for that!!
2. WE GET BUSY (also called: RUNNING)
If we are busy enough no one will notice.
No, sorry, I can't have coffee....soooo busy.
No, I can't talk right now....soooo busy.
No, we can't go....soooo busy.
No one can hit a moving target.
This one works well...as long as there are no pickle jars.
3. SILENCE
Suffering in silence. Never complain, never ask for help...never
have a need, never says a word. Because if they say one word
BOOOOOM!
4. SELF-MEDICATION
We find something, a substance, a person, a sport, a hobby, a
cause...to lose ourselves in to help HIDE. I'm not gonna get too
specific, cause I'll leave yours out...and you'll think it's ok. LOL
But, I'll just say this....chocolate!!
2. WE GET BUSY (also called: RUNNING)
If we are busy enough no one will notice.
No, sorry, I can't have coffee....soooo busy.
No, I can't talk right now....soooo busy.
No, we can't go....soooo busy.
No one can hit a moving target.
This one works well...as long as there are no pickle jars.
3. SILENCE
Suffering in silence. Never complain, never ask for help...never
have a need, never says a word. Because if they say one word
BOOOOOM!
4. SELF-MEDICATION
We find something, a substance, a person, a sport, a hobby, a
cause...to lose ourselves in to help HIDE. I'm not gonna get too
specific, cause I'll leave yours out...and you'll think it's ok. LOL
But, I'll just say this....chocolate!!
The truth is...we don't have to wait on a conference, a retreat, a counselor, a class, a coach, a guide or a guru.
We don't have to hear OPRAH tell us!!
The next time...a pickle jar situation comes up, just
STOP, DROP & PEEL.
ASK Yourself:
Thanks as always for reading.
I appreciate your support, comments, ideas...and LOVE!
Who knows...maybe next time I'll share a recipe. Probably not! LOL
If you ever need me...send me an email!!
We don't have to hear OPRAH tell us!!
The next time...a pickle jar situation comes up, just
STOP, DROP & PEEL.
ASK Yourself:
- why did that hurt me --- again?
- why did i do that --- again?
- why do i feel this ---- again?
- why did i say that ---- again?
- why did i go there --- again?
Thanks as always for reading.
I appreciate your support, comments, ideas...and LOVE!
Who knows...maybe next time I'll share a recipe. Probably not! LOL
If you ever need me...send me an email!!